Brown Bagging Is The New Black

I've been doing some calculations recently on how much money I unnecessarily spend each week, and how much I've been "saving." In finally analyzing my lifestyle choices, I've discovered a wealth of options that both cut spending and help my fitness goals. Two birds, one stone —count me in!

Stupid Expense #1

I failed to mention to you lovely readers that I kicked my Starbucks addiction weeks ago and started carrying my own thermos of chai tea every day to work. Not only did that cut an estimated 1,000 calories out of my week, but saved me around $30 each week. One large Starbucks order is the cost of a month's worth of tea bags, sweet n low and low-fat half & half. Why didn't I think of this sooner?!

I'll admit kicking the addiction wasn't easy. This stuff is like crack! Aside from the caffeine dependency, I pass four or five Starbucks on my daily commute through the city! I would quietly whimper to myself, walking by each one and smelling the espresso goodness wafting through the doors. I had to sip from my thermos and convince myself that it was better than the real deal. Entering the minimal calories into my tracking app was the only solace I had during the first few weeks of detox. Eventually the shaking and night-sweats stopped, and now I can confidently brush past a Starbucks without even glancing at the sign! My home-made tea rocks. Really.

Estimated Monthly Savings: $110

Stupid Expense #2
The day I finally bucked-up and learned the NYC subway system was truly glorious. I was kind of forced to due to a part-time job that had me running around the island of Manhattan into unexplored territories. Racking up taxi expenses wasn't exactly a viable option. Then I started spoiling myself. My regular job is a straight 12 block walk from Penn Station. Well, taking the 1-2-3 trainline cut 10 blocks out of that hike. I was in my glory, minimizing that fifteen minute walk to a quick two minute ride down Seventh Ave.

That wonderful shortcut started costing me $22.50 a week. I know it doesn't sound like much, but when you factor in the $75 weekly train ticket from Jersey, I was spending nearly $400 a month just to get to work! Any sane person can assume that's absolutely ludicrous. So in an effort to minimize my expenses, I've tossed out my metro card and laced up my shoes (O.K. well I held onto it for rainy days. 12 blocks in the rain isn't fun). The walk really isn't terrible. It takes about 10-15 minutes and burns off a chunk of my breakfast. It's a good thing I have this tea to keep me energized...

Estimated Monthly Savings: $90

Stupid Expense #3

I've never been big on packing lunch. Even in high school I always bought my lunch from the cafeteria. Brown bagging made you a dork for whatever reason, and I've carried that stigma to the workplace. The cool people go out to lunch together and the lame people sit at their desk alone with a soggy ham sandwich. I don't know where we get these ideals, or if it's really just in my own head, because honestly your mom packing a homemade lunch shows that you're probably loved more than the "here's five bucks" parents. Somehow that extra-special attention was turned into "you're poor" --probably by some jealous, spiteful rich kid.

I'd like to take a moment and thank my mom for all of those childhood years full of egg salad and bologna sandwiches. You always took the time to prepare what I loved to eat and bought us colorful insulated lunch sacks to store your handmade delicacies. I may have complained every week about not having dunkaroos and fruit roll-ups, but your insistence on not purchasing these pricey snacks kept me lean until my teenage years (when I demanded to buy lunch like the cool kids and spent your hard-earned cash on cookies and ice-cream, rather than the schools sad excuse for a hot lunch).

I'm now packing my lunch on a daily basis. Granted I've only been doing this for a week and a half, I plan to stick to it. Seeing that money sit in my wallet all week has been quite joyous, and I can keep a better handle on how many calories I'm consuming. Sure I gaze longingly at the variety of sandwhich shops and cafes on my walk to work, but having an extra couple of bucks at the end of the week to maybe treat myself to some take-out for dinner is a beautiful thing. Lunch in NYC gets expensive. The average meal will suck about ten bucks out of your pocket and even more if you opt for delivery! There are some major savings to be had in this department.

Estimated Monthly Savings: $150

These three areas alone are projected to save me around $350 each month. Wow, that's a lot of cash! Think of what you could do with that much money every month... That's a new 32" flat screen television; or a new summer wardrobe; or a weekend getaway; or a nice chunk of credit debt removal; or an extra car payment; or a new cute piece of Ikea furniture; or a start to an actual savings account. The list could go on forever, and that's EVERY SINGLE MONTH! Now the only problem is actually recognizing and holding onto that savings. It's really easy to blow it in small chunks every other day. Actually, it's too easy, especially for me. I haven't really recognized any of these weekly savings since I started implementing them. Where does the money go?! I think I need to start keeping track of my expenditures and monitor what black hole this money is falling into. Hmm... Maybe there's an app for that too? ;-)

Reflections From The Train

My savings account has increased over 1000% in the last 5 days. Now isn't that an impressive number?! I have gone from a mere $0.67 to a whopping $7.00! At this rate I should be a millionaire in no time! No really though, I actually opened that new Orange savings account a few days ago and started myself off with a grand total of $7.00. It's not much, but it's a start. I also set up an automatic withdrawal from my checking account for $10.00 a week on the day I get paid. I plan on increasing that amount when I feel secure enough in my finances, but for now I'll stick with what I feel is safe. One day I'll catch up to my little sister (who we are still convinced has the first dollar she ever received).

I also finally answered those collection calls, mostly due to the inspirational text messages from my Dad telling me to "man up." The bastards were calling my parent's house too, so now I'm really curious to know what the daily totals were! For now my phone has stopped ringing, hinged on promises of payment tomorrow. I've been telling everyone they'll get their money tomorrow... Oh, and rent is due Tuesday.

I feel it's necessary to note that as I write this post on the train, a guy just walked by wearing a hat with cat ears (just another dirty-looking hipster jackass, I suppose). I think I'm going to start a new section on this blog about the crazy shit I see every week while riding the New Jersey Transit rail. And just as I finished the last sentence, I looked to my right and spotted another gem. Here's a smart-looking guy, wearing a business suit and fancy watch, with his iPod wrapped in a leather Burberry case, drinking a super-sized can of Budweiser out of a paper bag... is something wrong with this picture, or is it really just me? People from Jersey are just so classy.

I'm working on my weight-loss update right now (it involves the Devil and $3.00). In the meantime, please leave your thoughts and comments on whether or not you're enticed to hear more about my daily train adventures. ;-)

"Stop Callin', Stop Callin', I Don't Wanna Think Anymore!"

Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me. -Goodfellas, 1990

Lately I've been thinking I have tinnitus, what with all the ringing my phone has been doing. The holidays set me back a bit and I'm still recovering, but we all know the banks don't give a flying fart. Sometimes I swear Mr. Visa is an oldschool mafia boss, sending his henchmen to collect by whatever means necessary. Yesterday I received 12 phone calls, 11 the day before, and they even call on Sundays. In addition to those calls I receive daily mailings and the occasional email and text message.

I don't really understand this method of collection... Of those 12 calls, six of them came from the same number. Do they think that increasing the frequency of harassment is going to make the balance of my checking account spontaneously grow? I mean, really now. Don't they think if I had the money to pay, I would have done it by now? I like to pay my bills on time. It gives me a great sense of pride to keep all my ducks in a row and my accounts out of the red and my credit score above the national average. But for some reason the banks have this crazy idea that I'm some kind of ninja-thief who will quietly slip out of their grasps in the middle of the night if they aren't calling me at exactly 8:30am every single day. It's absurd! Now what I could understand is something like a "daily reminder." Just one phone call, sometime in the afternoon, with a friendly message reminding me that I still owe them my life and they aren't going away. I could totally accept that!

However, the sad truth is that many more people respond faster and more efficiently to death threats rather than sugar and honey. While I was working at a collection agency a few years back (yes, I worked at a bank and a collection agency--the two institutions I loathe most on this planet), I remember the wealthiest collectors were the hard-asses that knew exactly how to flick the panic switch on a debtor. The kinder, more gentle staff still made their commission too, but it really is amazing how fast someone manages to pull a few hundred bucks out of the sky when they think the Iceman is going to show up at the front door with a pickax and some duct tape. So, because I worked in a collection agency (I wasn't a collector, mind you), I have a good bit of knowledge on the tactics and strategies these people use to scare debtors. This knowledge is mostly what keeps me from shitting a brick and going into panic mode every time they ring. Here's a few things I can share with you:

(Legal Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee these principals apply in all situations. I am not a professional debt adviser. I'm simply just a person sharing what tidbits I've pick up in my lifetime, and any information you receive from anyone should be taken with a grain of salt and investigated thoroughly.)

• Every creditor out there will take a settlement of 80%. Any balance on top of that is usually fees and interest so they don't really mind losing the gain, as long as they are recovering the loss. Click here for some really good tips how to negotiate with your creditors.
• Always low-ball your initial settlement offer. They will want you to make the initial offer (in case you had a bigger number in mind than they did), and they will always try to one-up you. So start with 50% and make it sound like you don't have a penny more to your name.
• If you can pay in one lump sum right now, many creditors will jump to accept a ludicrously small settlement (50-60%).  If you're lucky, they'll take it in two payments--hey, it worked for me before! Also note that most companies won't take less than 50%, and an offer any smaller may be taken as an insult to the collector.
• Don't freak out when you get a letter from an attorney threatening a lawsuit. Many, many companies simply throw a couple of bucks at an attorney to send a letter, and only send a letter, in the hopes of scaring you into cutting off your left arm and mailing it in immediately.
• Most creditors aren't going to sue for anything less than a couple thousand dollars. If they do decide to sue, it will be after years of harassment and exhausting all other avenues. It costs a lot of money to sue people, so it's really a last resort, Hail Mary play.
• Please, please, please don't use one of those "debt consolidation" companies like AmeriDebt, FreedomDebtRelief or any of the other thousands like it. All they do is settle your balances in the exact same ways I just told you about, except they steal more of your money in the process and drag it out longer. They sure do have some convincing commercials, but please know they are are NOT out to help you. Even worse, a ton of them are truly thieves who take your money and never even pay the companies. You can "get rid of half your debt" all by yourself just by picking up the phone and calling Mr. Visa.

Settling a debt also requires coming into a chunk a change to actually pay them with, and a chunk I do not have. I don't really want to settle anyhow, because it doesn't look too good on your credit report (but it looks wayyy better than a write-off! Write-offs are very bad, and you still have to pay them back). I've decided I want to do this the old-fashioned way and actually get caught up on my payments. I'm fairly positive I'll be able to catch up by the end of this month, at which point I'll need to sit down and really hash out a plan of action to get myself out of the red before I die. In the meantime, instead of dodging the Iceman, I think I'll pick up the phone and tell them to give me a couple weeks to get straight. Yea, that might be a good idea. ;-)

Confessions Of A Credit Card-aholic

They say money can't buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys everything else." -Mad Money, 2008

I don't even know where to start, so let's rewind back to the beginning...

I was fresh into the start of my 18th year when I promptly applied for a credit card. As I filled out the forms with the aid of my customer service friend, I could barely contain the glee sparkling in my wide eyes. Finally, I was legally able to partake in the joys of "buy now, pay later"! I made sure to clearly cross all my T's and carefully dot all my I's, and before I knew it was signing my life away to the bank I worked at. Just a few days later I was approved and received my first shiny piece of magical plastic. Since I worked for the bank, they were more than happy to extend me a modest $500 credit limit and secure the fate of my financial demise.


At first I started off slow, only handing my precious card over when it was absolutely necessary. That lasted about a week... Before I knew it, I realized I could have everything I wanted now--and girl, I am sooo the type who needs to fulfill my wishes RIGHT NOW. What could be the harm? I could just pay for this stuff when I get my paycheck, right?

When I think back, I don't think I've ever paid a full balance at the end of the month... Never. That means I've been padding the pockets of fat-cat bankers for the last seven years. In credit card debt alone, without looking up the exact figures, I owe somewhere around $10,000. That's not including student loans (approximately $30,000) and my car (about $4,000 owed to my parents).

What makes this burn a little deeper is the fact that I have absolutely no savings. I've somehow managed to keep the same $0.67 in my savings account for the last 24 (almost 25) years I've walked this earth. So currently I'm trapped in the dark pit of a $44,000 hole with no rope to grab on to and pull myself out.

Since no rope exists, I'm forced to start from scratch and weave a lifeline with the few threads I can scrape up off the ground. I need to take that $0.67 and magically turn it into a few thousand, just like I managed to take a $500 credit limit and magically turn it into a 10,000 pound weight on my shoulders.

I've always had this stigma about saving money when I owe so much to everyone else. I feel like I should be using those pennies to chip away at the block, rather than stick them in a box for my future. Well today I'm giving a big "F You" to the bankers! My new plan is to reverse this illogical way of thinking and finally start putting something away for "the future," whether that be for retirement, a home or even a wedding. I've decided the best course of action is to open an ING Orange savings account for several reasons. First off, I can have them take out a small amount of money from my checking account each week on pay day. This way I won't even notice and and can start budgeting minus the savings immediately! Second, it's online. "Out of sight, out of mind" is a philosophy I've subconsciously adopted since the beginning of my life, and in this instance it might actually work out to my benefit (it rarely has ever been a positive influence before...).

So I'm signing up for this miracle account first thing tomorrow! In regards to the pit of death... Well, I'm still figuring that one out right now and I'll get back to you another day. ;-)
 

Back At Square One

So I suppose the proper way to start a blog is with an explanation of why the hell I'm here and what I plan on doing about it. For the attention-deficit crowd, here's the short story: I've been out of college for over a year without nearly as much career advancement as a 25-year-old would hope for, I'm waste deep in debt with NO savings, I haven't been taking very good care of myself, and I'm using the promising year of 2011 to change all of that (Sound familiar!? That's because it's the story of nearly every damn college grad in the last 5 years). For those of you looking for the long story (or at least trying to further relate yourselves to my troubles), please read on.

From the above laundry list of "areas in need of improvement" I gather three major topics: Success, Wealth & Health. Some of you may notice one tragically important thing missing... Love. Well I'm happy to report that's the one section of life that I have under control!

My plan is to tackle each of these areas step by step, little by little. Each week I'm going to declare a goal in each of the 3 areas and fulfill it to the best of my abilities. I've never been one to fail at any project thrown my way, so I'm going to take a lesson from myself and stop failing so hard at life. By blogging about my endeavors I'm hoping it'll be the kick in the ass I need, the pressure that pushes me to succeed. I can't just tell the world I'm going to do something and then leave them hanging! I don't want to call it an "obligation" because that has a nasty negative connotation to it, and I want this to be a positive experience that will force me to grow into the individual I know I can be --strong, confident and successful.

I'll provide more background story (and those fun little anecdotes) as we move along, but for now I have to get to sleep! Goodnight ;-)

- Posted in bed from my iPhone (so please forgive any terrible spelling/grammar errors)