Rising From The Dead

Look! It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!

I woke up on time today. I woke up at the actual time my alarm went off.
And I only snoozed once (or twice).

This feels just short of a miracle to me, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high in the event this was simply a fluke. Whether or not this whole vibrating concept actually works will require additional testing. For round one I still used my iHome alarm on blast in addition to the phone. I found a fantastic little free app that comes with a ton of settings (I'm tempted to buy the full version now!), and I elected to use a classic beeping feature on it, as well as the vibration. I'm hoping in the long run I won't need the beeping, but I just wanted to be safe.

So I awoke this morning to an orchestra of beeping, vibrating and Lindsay Lohan (don't judge me), and I have to say that it wasn't that bad. I must admit though, that initial buzz kind of scared the shit out of me and shocked my eyes wide open—but it worked! Just so you can fully understand what I have been going through my whole life, I'll share some of my most bizarre morning adventures this week...

I like girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch...
I had a ring-tone years ago that played the chorus of LFO's "Summer Girls" single. I decided at some point to start using it as my alarm, figuring there's no way I could ignore something so godawful annoying. Well my ever-so-clever subconscious decided to play a vicious trick on me... One night/morning I had the craziest dream that involved giving a eulogy at someone's funeral. As I approached the podium to begin my reading, a song starts playing over the loudspeaker. Yes, you guessed it, LFO's "Summer Girls" began playing during the funeral services. I laugh off this silly mistake and continue on. Later on throughout the "day" I hear it again and again, until I finally turn to person I'm walking with—in my dream—and delcare "Wow, this song has been coming up an awful lot today!" Needless to say I was late to work that day, and when I told my boss what really happened, he kind of stood there in awe for a moment before issuing me yet another citation, warning me of impending termination.
   

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Every morning my subconscious and conscious minds battle to the death over what time is appropriate for my body to wake. I know my subconscious is just looking out for my general health and sanity by fulfilling a 7-hour requirement, but unfortunately, at this point in life, my paycheck ranks higher on the list of survival priorities.

Nevertheless, almost every morning I find myself dead to the world—with an iHome blaring angrily into my ear—as the minutes tick by and I'm late again. I can't quite explain how this is possible, but there are plenty of people you can ask who have witnessed this phenomenon first-hand since I was a teenager (I'm sorry, Mom, but it really wasn't my fault!). Turning the volume up louder and louder doesn't seem to do any more for me, other than making my girlfriend want to beat me over the head with it.

I'd like to take a moment and apologize to my sweet, loving and patient girlfriend for dealing with my ludicrously loud (and louder) alarm clocks over the years. I don't know how you do it, because I surely would have killed me by now. xo

So, as step 1 in my quest to further my career, I'm determined to discover a wake-up call that actually works for me (I mean, let's face it —How can I expect to be successful in my career if I can't even manage to wake up!?)Now I can't get too crazy, since I'm financially limited to using only my household items, so I'll have to apply a little creativity.

I keep seeing these wrist watches advertised that actually monitor your sleep patterns, then wake you up by vibrating at the "optimum time." It doesn't sound too far-fetched to me since I've also seen a couple of other alarm devices that vibrate, like the vibrating pillow and another gadget that vibrates your entire mattress. I actually respond really well when someone gives me a little tap to wake up, so that could very well be my solution. The problem is I don't really have the money to invest in this. So I started thinking and suddenly realized I have an iPhone that is perfectly capable of vibrating!

Starting tonight/tomorrow I'm going to implement this new method into my morning wake-up routine. I'm not sure if the native alarm app actually vibrates, but I'm willing to spend the $1-2 for an app that will fully utilize this miracle vibrating function. Also, since my phone is a bit cumbersome to wear on my wrist/arm, I'm going to start with placing it under my pillow.

It's time for sleep so I'll let you all know how well this little experiment works out in the morning, as well as some ridiculously crazy stories of the dirty tricks my subconscious pulls on me just to keep me asleep! ;-)

-Posted in bed from my iPhone (so please forgive me speeling tyops)